This week, wich is like the 2nd since school start is... i dunno, probably tight and pressurising. Stress is the main thing. Monday and tuesday was quite ok, PE was fun, 2.4 got abit crappy compared to last year; badminton was fun, esp with the class!
Wednesday onwards was rather bad... 1st of all, felt very very sick, coz tuesday nite rushing the BJT07 video for presentation the next day... It was also the day that the Exco was announced... rather surprised that i got the CM post... I did mention in the dec holidaes that i wanna be CM coz got enthu'ed up after the China trip. Budden, closing to xmas n new year, began to realise that its quite impossible and i know i'll b very busy. Morever, i know best about my own studies, so obvious that my basic concept sux. Well, on wed, i dunt know wad forced me to accept this post. Somehow, i think this is an opportunity staged out for me, to experience, to experiment and contribute all the plans i had since J1. Guessed because of that, i accepted this heavy responsibility. We had a short meeting after the announcement... then dismissal and off to CCA.
For the next 2 days, i've been feeling quite uneasy... very very uncomfortable, its like some mental torture... Probably coz i've been thinking too much and kinda paranoid. The members of Exco were decided through interviews by MsNg. And of course, the course of the interviews are carried out individually, we all do not know wad posts each of us wants. The main source for the uneasiness comes from the feeling that some people seemed unhappy about the finalised Exco members. Naturally, being chosen as the CM, i felt it most. In defence, i've been very careful of wad i'm doing for the next two days, staying perfect and cool. stress generated from pressure all around... friends, classmates, teachers and cca.
MC needs me to plan for camp and I've onli drafted out the programme, a long report awaits. Next from classmates, somehow i feel the need to do something that exceeds their expectation! Even though its like 2 days, i feel damn stressed, whether i'm doin the correct thing, job scope cleared? Then also, MsNg and the other teachers who knew me, I cant possibly dissapoint them. Then due to this busy and stressed schedule, i've even reject Rome for basketball today, felt damn bad but no choice. It turns out so bad that i've considered many times to quit the posts. Comparing is unavoidable, myself and the other candidates for CM. Are they more suitable for this post? Are there any misunderstandings?
Its no use getting this stressed up, be optimistic! This is wad I always tell myself when anything goes wrong. The problem only lies with myself, why m I so concerned with how people look and think of me. I think my actions will prove and convince them! I know i'm not the outstanding and inspiring speaker type but I know I've many great plans for the class, to bond them and to make it more enjoyable. Then on thursday, after a talk with MsNg after class gathering/lunch felt better, i'm more confident to work on...
Time is required for me to do everything i can. I've chosen this route... cramping myself with lots of responsibilities. I'll do it. This may be the rehearsal for my future life; any1 will face it 1 day and I'm glad i've an opportunity. I always critisized dad about his easy job, signing papers, talk on phone and just supervise... I guess i'm really really wrong. It's like the toughest job on earth, human resource management. Management is like controlling every aspect, u cant focus on only one and if the team goes wrong, u're screwed, hamburgered from top and bottom. Humans have emotions, thats the challanging part, u cant afford to offend them yet u need to gain their respect for u as a leader. Morever, I'm afraid peeps think that i'll slack as CM, not helping out n stuffs, just talk n command... but i guess i'll not stay off my track, i'll still do wad i must do, to supervise, plan and make sure things happening for various posts are running smothly.
Another life lesson for and I think its a important 1 to remember and reflect on. Let's hope 'A' increases so that I wont stand alone, and F decreases; i'll feel relaxed and enjoy my job!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment